What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 02:00
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
When sharing a wife, is it best with your buddy or a stranger?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But, we were locked up after school.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
What questions are asked in a JP Morgan Hirevue interview?
He resisted the act ,that day.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Forget Commander, Clive is the core of my new MTG Final Fantasy standard deck - wargamer.com
She wouldn,t have been !
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And i lived it daily.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
The 6 Best High-Protein Snacks to Buy at Aldi, Recommended by a Dietitian - EatingWell
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Why am I so wanting to suck a penis?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
All the time i was locked up.
So whats the point in blame.
8 of the most controversial album covers of all time - dazeddigital.com
I was scared of men, in general
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
She married twice! .
Are LGBT people accepted in Japan?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Is the Democrat party connected with organized crime in America?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
What did i know ?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Here's Why This Year Will Be "Different" For Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce - BuzzFeed
We were not on the streets..
Put me off passion for life!!
I will be 64.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Im still living with it.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I was seconnd youngest,
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was very sick at this time too.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
This is soul school!.
Would this be the day?
She loved him until the end.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I could never make a relationship work though!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She found it foreign!.
He knew the spot.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But it wasn’t much.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I think the readers, may guess!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
It was going to be , some day.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
We all went to grammer schools
Especially a lifetime of it.
Who then, do I blame.?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I write beautiful poetry .
(And it was in our own minds.)
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Ive learnt so much.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Comes on , in middle age.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
But ive been too sick for many years..
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
She was in good health!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I don,t even have a pension.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I was 9 years of age.
I said to her
Was to survive, this bastard.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I never cut or harmed myself..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
So, i spoilt her more .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I have no regrets .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I waited trembling.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
One cannot live in the past .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I couldn’t, believe it.
When she asked me how she looked .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My family never makes their pension either.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
My life is so biszare .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.